Seriously.

Ok, this is probably the most serious I've ever been on this website.  I absolutely NEED to find somebody to make me this bacon scarf.  

http://monstercrochet.com/Patterns.html

If you know anybody that can knit or crochet, I will pay for the design, the material, shipping, and a whatever you think is fair for labor.  I must have this!

ok, need to get back to work.  I promise I'll post something soon.  

*pinky swears*