Part II of my first day in Australia

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Oh your God, was it hot in my room.  I threw my stuff on the ground and immediately got a shower because in all honesty I smelled like somebody wrapped boiled cabbage in a used jock strap.  Mmmmm, Sexy!

I’d like to flash back and remind you that I forgot to pick up my arrival info at the airport.  So here I was, with no idea where I actually was.

I decided to not let this stop me and wandered out to try and find the international student office.  If anybody would be able to help me, it would be them!  I had their address on some paperwork and figured I would eventually run into a map that would help me. 

After a good bit of walking I found an “info” stand with a large map!  Horray!!!  Even better, somebody had left a paper copy of the map sitting in front of it! 

“This is my lucky day! “ I exclaimed aloud right as I noticed that the building I needed to find was on the complete other corner of campus.

I turned around and started heading off in the right direction.  About 40 minutes and 6 Liters of sweat later (about 1.5 gallons) I got to the building and was greeted by a sign informing me that the international office had been moved to the 4^th floor of the Russ building. 

Russ building?  OK fine.  Let me bust out my shiny new map and find it!

There is no Russ building…  Wtf!

I decide to re-adopt my initial strategy and just start walking.  After an hour or so of pointless wandering I finally broke down, pulled out my map, and asked somebody where the Russ building was located. 

“Oh, it’s this building right here” they said pointing at my map as if I were a fool for not knowing.

“The one marked ‘construction site’ On the other side of campus?”

“yup!  You’re way off out here!”

“Yes, it would appear as though your observation is correct…”

 

So I walked across campus again, perspiring like I was in a damn sauna and panting as I begrudgingly hauled my stubborn sun burnt legs along.  I would have killed 100 adorable puppies with my bare hands for just a single ice cube.

I finally got to the International Office and they welcomed me to Uni with a smile on their faces and told me to stop by the computer center to set up my “UniKey” and get a student email address.  This building was across the street from where their office USED TO BE!   AAARRGGGHHH!!!!  They also told me I should attend the new arrival meeting at 10:30am.  I asked what time it was because I genuinely did not know.  It was 1:30pm.  I guess I missed it.

So off I went to the computer center.  Once I got there a man who seemed very comfortable with the warm weather was happy to start setting up my info, but eventually informed me that I would have to see the people in the Fisher Library computer lab to finish getting my wireless internet activated.  It was located ON THE OTHER SIDE OF CAMPUS!!!

If I wasn’t so exhausted, sun burnt, and sweaty and I if I still had any energy I would have jumped across the desk and beaten him in the face with my laptop.

 

So off I went AGAIN!  I can not stress how hot it was for me.  For all you east coast people, you know that as soon as it’s 60 degrees F you will be outside with your tee shirts and shorts.  Can you even imagine 100???  That was a rhetorical question.  YOU CAN’T!!  It was 100, but to me if seriously felt like the sun was resting inches from my face poking me with pitchforks filled with burning hay, laughing burning and taunting me like napalm launching hyenas.

 

I reluctantly made my way to Fisher library.  I don’t know why, but it really bothered me to see so many people walk by seemingly enjoying the weather.  At this point I was literally drenched with sweat.  My pit stains had become upper body stains, then eventually full body stains.  There was no part of my clothing left dry.

After what seemed like a 20 mile walk, I eventually made it to the library and the assholes made me go up stairs to get to the computer center.  STAIRS???   You dicks, I hate you… 

 

Finally I was there!  I was ready to have my computer set up so I could access the internet, but all the nerds behind the desk did was hand me a pamphlet with directions for setting everything up myself.  WHY couldn’t they have given this to me at any of my other stops??  Whatever, no point in wasting energy getting violently angry over this.

I spent about 30 minutes in the library downloading and tinkering with network settings, then I was done!  DONE!  Yay!  Now I have wireless internet!!  Wait, what does this small print say??

Students are allowed 6mb of internet usage per day and only select sites for research can be accessed. 

*smacks self in forehead then winces in pain due to sunburn* 

 

I decided that the only thing I could do was retreat to my room to lap water from the faucet like a dog (I had no cup) and take a few more cold showers.

 

If nothing else I guess I’m starting to learn my way around campus.

First Day In Australia

I finally have the internet!!!  YAAAAAY!  I have SO much to tell everybody about these last two weeks!  I was hoping to post everything in one big entry, but it ended up being over 10 pages long in MS word and I don’t want to eat up too much of your time at once.  I figured the best way to handle this would be to post something new every day until I’ve caught up to present time!  So bookmark this page and keep checking back!

 

 

Ok, first I want to give a big shout out to the wonderful people I spent time with and met in LA.  I would could write an entire book on what happened that weekend, but unfortunately right now I really need to focus on the southern hemisphere.

So here is part one of my backlogged Australian journal. I hope you enjoy reading it:

 

First day in Australia:

So where do I begin??  I guess the best place would be walking onto flight 839 in LAX.  I was absolutely terrified about sitting still for over 14 hours, but it ended up being tolerable.  My seat was crammed and uncomfortable, but it was next to a very nice younger Chinese/Australian girl who’s ear I talked off for the first few hours of the flight.  I probably asked her a million questions about Australia and made her give me pointers on what little mandarin I can speak (so far I can tell people that I don’t speak mandarin, and I can order two beers.  Not one, only two).  After that I fell asleep for about 10 hours and woke up just about there! 

Once I got off the plane and claimed my bags I got immediate attention form every customs agent in the airport.  Anybody that had a chance to see my guitar’s flight case will know why!  There must have been 12 different officers that walked up before I even got to the front of the line and asked me what was in the case.  When I would tell them it was a guitar a few got excited and started short guitar conversations with me.  So far people seem nice I guess!

While waiting in line I watched them tear apart people’s luggage, searching every little pocket and flap, open every container, and basically separating everything regardless of whether it should or should not be in more than one piece.  When I got up to the inspection station I expected them to pull out the rubber gloved and lube, but the guy simply asked, “do you have any food from the US? “

“Yes I do” I answered .

I held up my fresh pack of Mentos with a big smile on my face.

Aaaaaaaaand, Freeze frame!

(Yes, I actually did this.  I really hope they have Mentos here in Australia!  It has become an obsessions!)

“Ok, you’re good to go.  Next!”  he repied

“Really?” I exclaimed in amazement!  “You don’t even want to go rummaging through my guitar case?”  Immediately realizing that that is probably a really stupid thing to say.

“Nope.”

I decided not to push the topic and quickly moved along. 

 

I may have moved along a bit too quickly because I forgot to check in at the new student desk to get all of my information and arrival paperwork.  Instead I hopped into a cab and we started driving.

 

“Where to?”  the driver asked.

“Wesley College building in the University of Sydney” I answered.

“Where is that?”

“Um…  I don’t know”

Shit!

“Just drop me off at the University of Sydney.  It is between Camperdown and Darlington off City Road.  I’ll find it from there.”  I finally said.

This is exactly what he did.

 

If you don’t mind I’m going to sidetrack from my story for a second.  Actually, even if you do mind it’s going to happen anyway.  What are you going to do about it?  Travel back in time fly here and stop me??   I’d like to see you try, jerk!  Ha!  Oh geez, I’ve gotten sidetracked from sidetracking.  Ok, back to my off topic topic:  It is HOT here!  The people who live here have been saying that it is uncharacteristically hot for Sydney, but for me it was INSANE!  It was SNOWING when I left Philly, and now it is in the mid 30’s (mid to high 90’s in F)!  I am wearing WAY too much clothing for this kind of heat.  In fact, if I had a better razor I could have shaved my entire body and walked around the streets naked pouring ice water on myself with one hand and fanning myself with my other and I still would have been too hot!  To much info?  Absolutely, but I wanted to make sure I got my point across.  That point being I am unbearably hot!  A roasting inerno!  Ok, back to the story!

 

So here I am somewhere on campus literally dripping with sweat carrying a giant duffle bag, a guitar case the size and probably weight of me, a large suitcase, and a medium sized bag for my computer.  So have one, two, three, four bags and how many arms.  Well there’s one, and two…  hhhhmmm

 

Did I mention I lost the wheels to my luggage so I couldn’t drag it behind me?  I really need to get a picture of all of this later so you can see what I had to carry.  If I get around to it I will post it for you.

 

I need a damn sherpa or something.  I just started wandering around campus panting wheezing and dripping, lugging my bags behind me in all sorts of strange and probably spine damaging ways for what seemed forever until finally I found it, Wesley College!   The building I was staying at looked like a small castle!  I was so excited!!!  I crawled my way to the door and literally collapsed into the entrance.  A man ran out to me and asked if I needed medical help, but I just told him that all I wanted was to check in as quickly as possible so I could shower!

 

A friendly lady walked out to me and showed me to my room.  She opened the door for me and I stepped in.  Picture a closet with a poorly maintained cot, but the cot clearly had been slept in recently and the sheets had not been changed in the last decade or so.  The large windows that looked out to campus didn’t even have curtains!  Lucky for me I think she noticed the extremely disappointed look on my face, or maybe just felt bad for me because I looked and smelled like I was an inch from death and decided to find a nicer room with curtains and clean sheets.

She eventually came back with news that she moved me to room 386 in the “New Wing” (which was ironically a very old wing).

In the brochure it said that all single rooms had bathrooms and linen service.  What this meant was that the building had bathrooms somewhere in it and that they give you sheets when you first get there, but they aren’t necessarily clean.  Even my “clean” sheets had mysterious sticky stains, but I decided to just try and ignore them.  What doesn’t kill me can only make me ill or maybe give me a rash.  Maybe both.

The fresh maker

A few days ago I was driving west on rt. 30 towards York, PA.  I was in the far left lane with a tanker truck speeding like crazy towards me in the right lane.  

if I let the truck get next to me I would never be able get over, so I accelerated as quickly as I could and cut in front of him.  He was NOT happy and started honking and flashing his light.  I sped off to get away, but this maniac started weaving around traffic chasing me... in a freakin tanker truck!!!

Eventually I hit a red light and had to stop he swerved over to the lane to get next to me.  He turned his dome light on, rolled down his window and started screaming and swinging his arms at me.  At a loss for things to do I pulled out my roll of mentos, ate one off the top and held them up for him to see with a huge smile and on my face.  

Aaaaaand freeze frame!  

He was not amused.

Jet lag

first, I am really really tired.  I haven't really slept in a few days.  I got 10 minutes of sleep last night, then a few hours of crappy sleep on the plane.  Now I'm in Los Angeles and messed up by the time difference.  

Lets think about this.  The time difference between PA and CA is 3 hours.  The difference between PA and Sydney is 14 hours!!   that is CRAZY!!!

but yeah, I'm still alive and have a weekend of fun in LA before I head off to Australia.  Yay!

10 things I want to do in LA:

1.  Drink American beer

2.  Eat great mexican food (seriously, do they have tacos in Australia???)

3.  Throw a cheeseburger at a celebrity that needs to be knocked down a peg

4.  Piss of Dodgers fans with my Phillies hat

5.  Get a haircut in Hollywood 

6.  Find Eagles fans to watch football with

7.  Watch my friend's band play live (shaimus.com)

8.  Try and etch my name into the hollywood walk of fame.  You better hide your star Matt Damon!  I have a chisel and I'm not afraid to use it!

9.  Hang out with some great friends!!

10.  GET SOME SLEEP!!!

This is it.

I have to be awake in one and a half hours to get my stuff together and out the door to catch my flight to LA.  

Crazy.  Time flies when you're having fun!

Philly

This was my second to last weekend on the east coast, and I think I spent it very well.  I took the train into Philadelphia with some friends on friday, ate some good chinese food, bought some curry (my friend got a nice wok!), then rented a private karaoke room and spent about three hours singing, drinking, and eating sushi!  As if that's not enough, we went out after that and danced around a bar near market east and had to rush to catch the last train out of the city!

On saturday we drove back to the city and did toursisty stuff since I've never really been sight seeing around here.  We got lunch at the reading terminal, posed for pictures in front of oversized game pieces, fought through skaters to get our picture taken in love park, walked through rittenhouse square, watched the huge tv in the lobby at the new Comcast building, the drove back to West Chester for some pizza and a soak in a hot tub.

Life is good.  I can't believe I have to leave all of this!

This must be it, welcome to the New Year

I'd like to start this off by thanking everybody for coming to my going away/family christmas party on the 27th! It was great to see so many people even though I didn't have a chance to sit down and talk to as many of you as I would have liked.

Ok, so you probably read my email and clicked a link that sent you here. This is my "blog" (I'm not fond of the word blog, but it will have to do for now). While I am in Australia I plan on posting stories on this site! Feel free to comment as much as you want!

Right now I really don't have much news regarding my trip. I've decided to take guitars instead of clothing and I still don't have a place to live. Lets save that for a later blog post, or blog entry, or bloggerie... whatever it's called.